The Wisdom of Merle
or How to live through one week at college.. ughh.
Written By Merle Zimmermann
January 9-10, 2000
Garnered over 17 years of Life..
- Rules of Sleep
- Fun with Ramen
- Practical Drinkmixing for the Minor
- Becoming a Programmer
A few rules of thumb..
- Every hour that you miss lowers your IQ by at least 4pts until
you catch up.
- The best way to avoid sleep is to be in mortal terror of your
- When you skip an hour of sleep you will need to sleep for at
least 1 1/2 hours extra before you will return to normal.
- It is impossible to fake having had a good night's rest, so
if (for instance) you go on a sleepover and do not sleep, tell
your parents when you return home. They may be angry, but it beats
falling asleep in front of them during dinner and waking up grounded.
- Sometimes you can feign illness, if you need to sleep badly.
Don't try this more than once a year, though, or they will catch on.
- It is easier to stay awake if you are hungry.
- Every two hours of sleep that you miss will either halve your
high-score or double it.
How to make Ramen Noodles FASTER !!!
or Fun with Ramen Noodles
Making Cup of Ramen Noodle without Hot Water
- Open cup as little as possible (about 1-2 cm) (less than an inch).
- Find a water fountain
- Because there is no way to see the line inside the container
without ripping off the entire top, here is how to tell when to stop
Add water to the cup until the little vegetables start to float
when you level the container.
- Put the cup in the microwave.
- Zap the food for at least one and a half minutes.
- Remove the cup from the microwave.
- Carry around for at least five minutes before opening.
The food is better if you can wait ten minutes, but it is edible
- Open the cup and Eat. It is sometimes a little crunchy, but it
is still good. Yum.
and my personal favorite:
Flaming Super Ramen Noodle
I use Oriental Ramen for this, but it will probably work with
other flavors too..
If you are using Cup Ramen, then open the cup. Otherwise, put
the packet of Ramen in a dish.
Note that Flaming Super Ramen Noodle soup is VERY SPICY !! Have at
least two pints of milk (one quart - or about 3/4 liter) handy to
stave off chemical burns from the hot peppers.
- Add 1 tsp. Sesame Oil
If you do not have sesame oil, then you will have to add a pat of
butter when I tell you to (not yet!).
- Dish Ramen: Add the flavor packet now.
Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES put
in oil after adding the flavor packet and before adding water.
- Add 1/4 tsp. Crushed and Dried Hot Peppers (the kind that they
have at Pizza Hut tm).
- Add water until
Dish Ramen: The noodle floats.
Cup Ramen: The water reaches the line.
- If you did not have any of the oil mentioned earlier, then add
the pat of butter now.
- Microwave until the food starts fizzing,
Or follow the Microwave directions on the package..
- Wait until cool.
An Introduction to the Gentle Art of Drink Mixing
In these modern days of strife, the skill of creative drink design
has expreienced a precipitous decline. Although some of this change
can be attribuited to cultural forces, blah blah blah..
OR - Making Flavors that the Self-Service Drink
Machine Doesn't Have!!
1 pt. Coke tm or Pepsi tm
1 pt. Orange drink
1 pt. Mr Pibb tm or Dr. Pepper tm
Let stand 15 minutes or till flat.
Serve on ice.
..tastes purple, just like cheap grape soda.
1 pt. (pink) Lemonade
3 pt. Sprite tm or Mountain Dew tm
1 pt. Mr Pibb tm or Dr Pepper tm (add for color)
Looks just like Coke tm or Pepsi tm. Just wait until they
take a sip and find out that this is the MOST ACIDIC DRINK
EVER since Grapefruit Juice !! splatoogh !! Try to avoid
getting hit in the eyes.. it really hurts.. ;(
I am still trying to recreate my Kreem Soada drink. Stay Tuned..!
Hints on Drink Development:
- Do not ever use much Hawaiian Punch tm or Lemonade Drink tm.
Their flavors overpower all of the others.
- Pepsi tm and Coke are good filler drinks. Use them if you need
to top off a glass for some reason.
- When designing drinks, it is good if you are in a store that
offers free refills.
My favorite is Taco Bell tm, but that may be because I like their
food a lot.
Becoming a Programmer
The Way to becoming a Valiant Programmer is paved with YOUR blood.
Do not expect to become good overnight. It takes years of hard