The Adventures of Framk and Breet

or

The Wishing Rings

A dialog transcribed and edited by Merle Zimmermann


One bright day Framk, Breet and Merle were going out to a Boy Scout meeting. On the way there, Merle decided to strike up a conversation.

"What would you do if you had a wishing ring?" he asked of the others. "Let's say that you, Framk, have a ring that gives you whatever you ask for literally and you, Breet, have one that gives you more than you ask for," Merle suggested.

Breet quickly replied "I wish I was rich!". Merle shook his head as he answered, "All of the world's currency is diverted to you. A new economy is set up to replace the old one after a few weeks, and all of the money that you now have is rendered worthless," Merle related.

"Framk, your turn," Merle said. Framk thought for a moment, and then replied, "I wish me and Breet would have millions of dollars each. The money would come from banks around the world, $10 here, $20 there."

Merle pondered this for a moment, then replied, "All of the money is transferred to two of your existing accounts, but a few hours later, you hear a knock on your door. It is the police. They arrest you and throw you in jail for stealing."

Framk interrupted, "I said it would come from different banks, spread out!" Merle continued, "because there were receipts found at each of the banks reading '$20 for Framk and Breet' at each of the sites."

* * *

After an amazing jailbreak, the story continues...

* * *

(Framk and Breet are each at their respective houses)

Framk: I wish I had a bucket full of dirt!

Merle: Nothing seems to happen.

F: I wish I had a bucket full of water!

M: Still, nothing seems to happen. Besides, you haven't eaten since lunchtime, and you are beginning to feel starved. (it's late afternoon) If you remember rightly, there is some leftover chicken in your kitchen.

F: I'll walk into my kitchen to get the chicken.

M: When you open the door to your kitchen, a bucket full of gooey, smelly mud falls on you, and you are coated with it.

F: I wish the mud wasn't on me!

M: When you open your refrigerator to get out the food, you find that your chicken has been coated with mud!

F: I wish the mud wasn't on the chicken or me! (aside -- "so there!")

M: Now your whole room is covered with mud!

F: I wish there wasn't ANY mud!

M: All right.

F: I'm going to bed, AND I'm taking off the ring before I go to sleep!

M: It's stuck. ("When you try to take off the ring, you find it has become stuck.")

F: I wish the ring wasn't on any of my fingers!

M: Now it's on your nose!

F: I wish the ring wasn't on my nose, and it wouldn't get stuck to any of my other appendages!

M: The ring falls off your finger and it lands somewhere in the dark room. When you lie down, you feel something stick to your nose.

Breet: It's my turn. I wish all of the Nintendo(TM) games were real! Framk will be Luigi, and experts will be playing him.

M: You're Mario, and novices are playing you!

B: I wish that wish unwished!

M: The ring on your finger rusts away and all of your wishes you made with it are undone! Framk, your turn.

F: I wish I would never have this ring again!

M: It disappears. Breet, when you wake up you find a ring on your finger.

B: I wish Framk had a ring.

M: Framk also finds a ring.

F: (argh)

B: I wish I was dead!(and Framk)

M: You will be in 10 billion years.

B: I refuse to make any more wishes.

F: I wish I knew all the ring knows!

M: Your mind is wiped, you know nothing.

B: I wish Framk was a genius!

M: All right, he is; but he still doesn't know anything.

B: I wish Framk knew all he knew before he made that wish.

M: Now he does.

F: I wish I knew all about everything described in my library. (not knowing someone replaced all of the books in his library with books about cooking)

M: Now you know all about cooking escargot!

B: I wish Framk's I.Q. would jump 300 points!

M: Now Framk's a moron!

B: (aside) Oh, I didn't specify the direction!

B: I wish framk's I.Q. would jump 3000 points upwards!

M: It does, just long enough for Framk to realize that he will lose it all in a few moments...

B: I wish Framk's I.Q. would jump 300 points and STAY THERE.

M: Now Framk is a SuperMoron!

B: (hmm..) I wish Framk was back to normal.

(I wish Breet was in space)

F: I wish I didn't have a brain.

M: The whole population of Earth loses their thinking apparatus.

F: I wish...

M: You don't have a brain; you can't wish! Breet, you are in space, with 15 seconds of life left to formulate a wish!

B: I wish all of the atoms in space were oxygen.

M: Okay.

B: (realizing how useless his last wish was) I wish I had air to breathe!

M: It instantly begins to dissipate; one wish left.

B: I wish I was back on Earth, with a knife in my hand that I could kill Framk with!

M: (chuckles) You blink in and out, then you see Framk lying in front of you where he fell. However, you are holding the knife by the wrong end, and you are rapidly losing blood.

B: Good. I'll throw the knife at Framk.

M: It punctures his skull, but, as there is nothing there, you do no damage. By the way, your wound has healed miraculously!

B: I wish Framk didn't have a spine.

M: Framk begins flinching whenever he sees anything.

B: I wish Framk has a brain!.

F: I wish my muscles were infinitely large! (casually)

M: (as Framk realizes the impact of his action) Yes.

F: (mumbling, confused) I wish my brain was a big as my biceps... (defeated oh...).

F: I wish I was back to normal and was standing on miami beach. Not buried in the sand, you see.

M: When you open your eyes, you find yourself in complete darkness.

F: Is there any sand?

M: You can feel some sand under your feet.

F: I'll walk forwards.

M: You walk into a wall. You see, Framk, you are in a secret military base UNDER the beach.

F: I wish I was on top of the base.

M: Now you are balanced on a flagpole above the base. (pauses for impact) 200 feet, to be exact.

F: I wish (hesitates)

M: You hit the ground and black out (you fell as you were thinking about how to get away).

F&B: Yes!!

M: You wake up in a hospital. The future technology saves your life again.

F&B: No!

*The End*


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